When the Smile Lost Its Meaning

Smile

I like to smile

I smiled when I was happy

I smiled when I felt something is funny

I smiled when I embarrassed people

since I was young...

Smile

I dislike to smile

I smile when I have no other choices to cover my sadness

I smile when I do not know how to suffer my pressure

I smile when I have to entertain people who I dislike

I have start continuously that since I left my high school...

Smile

I have to get back my smile

I wish to smile when I would like to smile

I wish to smile when I get back to myself

I wish to smile when I successfully make a person escape from sadness and smile

I would like to smile when all of YOU catch your happiness.....

Love Is Start

Cold blast brought the message of winter

withered leaves left to protect their Zitadelle.

I was still standing there

discern the alternation of generation

imagine I could use telescope to see where my love is.

She was in dragon birthplace

trying to endure the feeling I had.

I can see, I can feel when the time I closed my eyes

looked through the telescope.

I saw the her sadness colour from the mirror of moon

I felt her verpassen through the Ostwind

those are all reflected vividly in my pupil.

You might ask how far can been seen through a telescope

my answer is

when you close your eyes to look through the telescope,

there is no distance restriction.

There is a proverb describe that

Love is zero.

No matter how many accumulation you have

there are same as zero and meaningless.

In my eye

If Love is zero

Zero is start from all the beginning.

It's a symbol to start our new journey...

UK Life

__ I do not know how to describe my feeling... That's neither good nor bad... This is the end of seven weeks that I am in UK... I just simply make a roughly conclusion about the UK life of mine.

__ Where should I start.... Hmm.. If you dislike Malaysia's hot weather, this place can be a quite suitable place for you... This is a windy and cold place. The temperature is always shown at two digits but started at one. If there is no wind, the temperature is quite comfortable (I felt that). My room has no fan or air-con, thus u can imagine that in the room, fan or air-con is not necessary needed.

__ Ok I understand.. From my words, u have no feeling... Forget it... Second

__ In order to save money for travel, playing, entertainment, or anything, I need to cook or prepare my three meals. Fast food, pizza, Maggie are the most common food I ate. They are fast and convenient... And my DIY food, they are not bad too... However, i felt very annoying to eat that again and again (all the food i cooked myself, the taste are same = =).

__ I am very boring actually, seriously... Of course, if i concentrate on my study, I have no so much time to be bored. However, I just want to mention about the life... Nevertheless, I do no have time to update the blog...

__ This blog is time to have a new look... Plan to change its interface and templates... Hope it can be done by the time you see it next time.

HAha.. cheers..............

As Two Parallel Lines Met Each Other

Look at the title, we might think that is impossible... As a science scholar, I can mention that parallel lines which actually are the most familiar strangers to each other...

They're always either heading to the same direction or 180 degree opposite direction. They can be the best partners no matter the direction is same or different. If I say deity and devil are couple, what do you think? They are considered as the two parallel lines too... Deity is kind, devil is evil, human has these both type of characteristic. If human is not the mixture of deity and devil, how can we explain this phenomena.

Parallel lines will not intercept in one point, but the whole line. We are such as the parallel lines in fate. The ending of us can be happiness or sadness forever depend on the elongation of the direction. Once we met, I can change my direction and follow your steps to my future. Once we missed, I will only stay and hover in your past, and we will never meet again...

Speech after Drunk

Happy Birthday to My Friend (KAIKAI) two days later... I was so happy and pleasure to attend his birthday party.

I ought to say sorry because I drank too much (at least i felt that) in his party... Maybe I tried to pour out everything if i got drunk to release everything. Luckily, my subconscious stopped it immediately... It is miserable, painful and bitter... I would like to throw these all feeling, but I'm really lousy just like what my friend said.

I'm sorry to you, yOu, You, and yoU... for re-enter to the you world...

____________________________________________________

Ah Yen arh... Ah Yen... Dun 38 d... Dun peep my blog then ask me again... Just believe your understanding, then that's the answer.....

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A Meteor has been Fallen in You

The day, I had received my letter from my university. I could confirm the date when will I be leaving. That's not your business anymore, you might be not caring anymore. No matter yes or no, I do not want you to be disturbed or sad again. Your tear is the most treasured for me in the world... Do not drop it easily...

The time, I am going to leave. I could not leave anything to you. I could not make sure you will be happy, healthy, and safety. The only thing I can give you which is a Meteor from me. I will use my entire life to achieve a wish of you. You might not care that, but please keep it... I might be useful in one day...

We have become the past tense for a long time. By the way, once you have the chance to read the post, I ought to let you know.

..................................No matter the love of me in you is reducing day by day until it is only one per tenth, I will fill in the rest of nine per tenth. Once it is only left the one percent, I will fill in another ninety-nine percents to you. ................................

Forgive me... I could not forget you...

The Riot in the Romantic World

Riot is related to the blood and cruel in the world...

It is belonged to one type of solutions to win over STH for residents.

In the narrator's world, riot had been happened. It was finished without blood or cruel. It was buried in the stomach silently. After few months, people mocked that the riot would be finished in the tears for three days. They were wrong. The deeper relationship, the tear will not so easy to drop down. The tear is not belonged to tear anymore. The shapeless sadness would

calm down all the tears to drop down from pupil.

None won in this riot, the only winning statement is Freedom for themselves. They were no longer belong to each other anymore. HE is nothing to her anymore, SHE is everything to him forever. Before SHE got her destiny happiness, HE is always single but not available to everyone...

Before I'm leaving...

__ Winter Day,

__ Leave of Lifetree has started withered and flopped.

__ Two year, drought will be continuous interrupted your life,

__ I am preparing and packing my stuff before thinking of you,

__ Return Ticket was bought at the time when you will be sleeping.

__ I take away all the memories all the things without you,

__ Love will be forgotten and thrown in the silent.

__ You will be also kept in a corner of emotionless heart,

__ Forever and ever.

__ Until a star and replace the light of moon in your mind.

__ Death or Survive will not become your answer nor mine.

OnLy HopE

__There's a song that's inside of my soul,

It's the one that I've tried to write.
Over and over again.

__I'm awake in the infinite cold.
Would you sing to me,
Over and over and over again?

__So I lay my head back down,
And I lift my hands and pray,
To be only yours,
I pray to be only yours,
I know now you're my only hope.

__Sing to me the song of the stars,
Of your galaxy dancing and laughing and laughing again.
When it feels like my dreams are so far,
Sing to me all the plans that you have for me,
Over again.

__So I lay my head back down,
And I lift my hands and pray,
To be only yours,
I pray to be only yours,
I know now you're my only hope.

__I gave my destiny,
I'll give you all of me.
I want your symphony,
Singing in all that I am,
At the top of my lungs.
I'm giving it love.

__So I lay my head back down,
And I lift my hands and pray.
To be only yours,
I pray to be only yours,
I pray to be only yours,
I know now you're my only hope.

...

Nothing to say actually... No word can describe what feeling I have now...

I'm really tiring... You're really busy too...

Internet slow, no water supply, emo-ing, sadness, lonely....

I cant feel, cant feel....

I go for asleep d.......

Good Night......

A Peaceful Raining Day..

__ Peace..? A nice word that most of the people wish to see... Japan was damaged by the earthquake, Tsunami attacked its surrounding countries... Nuclear manufactory occurred the explosion, the radiation sources are threatening people health... Nigel, who is the one not involved in these disasters, discuss the peace at here......

__ Libya occurred the war, how many residents of that are ready to sacrifice for their country... And how many residents who are dreaming for the 'peace'...

__For those Libya's innocent people, Run... Run...... Run away to find a place and keep your safety... Men, stand up and protect your families, keep their safety... That's your responsibility to do that... Before the war get worse, think a better solution to solve all the issues... Just run or surrender when you are caught... Don't try to pick the the weapons and defense... You are not soldier, you would be killed when you are seen by the allied forces.

__For US, England, French's soldiers, please think about your family before you press the guns... Please try to avoid to hurt those innocent people...

__ I don't know which situation should I be... The war will not stop just because of the words what I said... Please stop the war immediately...

__World has been crying...Sun and moon has disappeared these two days, there is only left the tears of the world, dropping unstoppable...

__My peace represent the quite atmosphere in my life... My peace represent my brain is clear to think about who am I... My peace represent my Pei is angry with me and ignoring me...

___ Peace... show me your true meaning... I need the true peace for me, for world, for everything...

I'm so sorry. . . . . . . . .

How are you, Nigel...

__Recently, there are quite a lots of stuffs to do... Refers to first week's note, we were informed that we are going to have a mid-term exam in the week. For today, it has been week four already...

__Refer to my previous post, you knew that I have to prepare my ielts test... However, actually I dare to apply the date... It's because the mid-term test has not been confirmed yet... My original plan which is taking the ielts at 16 April... That is Saturday, after that my holiday is following to celebrate that I have finished the test.. ( Although it's success or not)

__There is one problem which occurred in a point that people never mention. I have only learned three weeks of lectures. Actually there is only quite few thing to study, it does not seems like we shall have a exam come from these 2 weeks notes. Besides that, lecturer did not mention about the test in the next week... Thus, I don't know when will the mid-term be... According to the culture, we always have the holiday after the exam. So I'm worry my mid-term will crash my ielts' date...

__Ietls' fee actually dare to get it from parents too... My private account is not under my control too, where to find the Vitamin M??

Take from parents? If they would scold me, I'm still feeling ok... The thing I'm worry which is the disappointed from them... I prefer to see their fierce face more than see their shaking head... This month, my expenses are really quite heavy too...

__A lots of pressures come together to me... Or I should say that I haven't settled one, the second one has been reached... Feel stress... White hairs found the good timing to grow up too... Suddenly, I become a old man if compare with ME one month ago...

Stress... Unhappy... Worry... Scary... filled up all my brain... And myonlyxp..... sigh.......forget it...

__Although this is my blog, but I treat YOU as another person... None to talk, so I just talk to you... If you can help to send my troubles to those people I plan to do so... I appreciate that... Or else, your silent has given me the best support...

Ielts (Part 1)

__ Recently, I'm really quite lazy to prepare my ielts...

Me: Time is a problem...

You: Is it.?

__I can continue finding the excuses if I like... Who can stop me to do that... But that's really make me quite uncomfortable... Sometime I found a motivation to do that, but it's not longer...so.. so.. so.. I do not need to continue, you will know the answer.

__ Recently, i do not know why am I so popular to the people who are not very close to me. However, I could find the intersection point among them. It is because they were asking me a same question... I arranged the rank depend on the level of concern.

__ No.1 ----> Eric Low

This fellow who is the one non-stopping to remind me, ask me those questions...

_____ Have you tested your Ielts ? Passed ady ? When are you going to test that ?_____

Just imagine his smiling face (don't know what bad idea is he thinking at that time ), I'm really on fire and wish to shout to him... " Can you please stop laughing and shut up!!"

I knew that's his way to encourage me to improve myself... But I REALLY DISLIKE HIS LAUGHING FACE LAR!!

__ No.2 ---> Eric's parents

At least, I have listened three times that either one of them asking these question to their son or daughter.

If there is a day, you come to my blog... I just want to talk to you... Thanks... Uncle Auntie, don't worry... I will try my best... Of course I will not let any 'bad news' spread to your ears again...

__ No.3 ---> Eric's sister

I don't know whether she is summoned to ask me these questions or what else... The time she's asking, I can find her brother's shadow from her... Really cannot reduce my hatred to Eric Low...

All right All right... That's all for today... Good Luck Nigel ..

When the Life is so Quite....

When the life is so quite, the time I can listen my heart beat... The old fan is still playing its rusty music, but I never felt that's quite noisy too.

I'm recalling my past... How good was I... How bad was I... There is a result which can explain everything what had I done...

That is a bad habit that i need to remove permanently... I'm trying trying and trying to find to solution to quit it. How am I going to do? Currently, no Idea...

How's the habit grow up, it's started from long long ago... Speechless and that's not proud for me to share with others. so I skip this...

When the time people are making decision, there are an angel and demon come out to affect their idea... That's the reason why making a decision is so difficult... For me, there is no angel, however there are two demons come and let me to choose the solutions which one is more suitable... In the end, we should know... No matter which one I choose, that's definitely wrong too...

Thus, I hurt a lot of people... Especially my girl... then parents... family... and friends...

It's so difficult to be removed clearly... How do I confirm whether it's removed or not... how how how...？

My sun is impatient and horizon is going to bring her away... If i'm still remain the same... When my sun left, night is going to accompany me for entire life...

I have not a exact solution to solve it, so i won't be trying to say anything... Action speak louder than words right... So I will work hard to change...

CAn do it can do it, can do it... I can do it... So do you...

Happy CHinese Rabbit New Year

__This Chinese New Year has slightly different with previous. I cannot figure it out, just feel that is different.

__12 o clock sharp, firework seems like that either has been allowed by government or too cheap or free for my village's residents. They played the fir

ework such like the Singapore's national day we saw that in the TV. There is one thing i can say, the firework's showing time was longer than that. That's so amazing and beautiful...

__My XP... So sad you have no chance to see that, since you're still in plane currently. Another special scene i found out during that period, there were so many people put the sky lantern on the sky too. After the firework, you can see the highlights... a lot of highlights such like the star, of course those are bigger than star, designed the sky. I felt so relax when i saw that... It's so so amazing.

__I'm still worry about you when I saw the sky lantern too. Because you're still in the sky... Your birthday... I bring you to set some sky lanterns, I promise... =)

__Remember what I say can, when you have chance to see this... I miss you... Enjoy your trip, but must be careful K? Take care yourself... I love You >.<